Making Friends

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I know how friends are important and how being lonely is like. I thought that I didn't need friends that is why I could stay alone for months at home. But I then realized that I need not be lonely because I just didn't realized that I did have friends. I don't have friends as many as the sands and all of that but what really matters is that I have people who are precious to me and who consider me precious to them. It's not in how many friends you have, it's on the mere presence of a friend that really matters.

Merry Christmas

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Audio Blog

Yes! Finally, after long hours of slaving in front of a hot monitor (hehehe) I'm finally able to load my first audio blog. Now I can indulge myself more in being lazy! Joke. Yeah, technology is so cool.

I can now post stuff anywhere and anytime, especially those enlightenment periods that really last short and I often forget to post.

My First Audio Blog

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Failure Is The Best Eye Opener

Life is truly ironic... First you get praised and is told that you will have a great nurse. This fills your head up and you really believe that you are good to the point that you think that you are the best, but then you forget one thing... humility.

But failure is a good reminder that you should always keep your feet on the ground and that you really should try your best all the time. It's an eye opener, a sort of reminder telling you that you're on the wrong path. Failures are really humbling situations that could be tagged as defining moments.

The last return demonstration (cleaning the wound and applying a sterile dressing) was a defining moment for me and it had awakened me back to my senses.

I may have failed, but I will not be a failure.

Hello World

I haven't been blogging lately. There can only be three reasons...

1. I'm too busy.
2. I'm lazy.
3. I don't have anything worth blogging.

It's really more of the second reason... hehehe...

Anyway I really like reading other people's blog because it really gives me a glimpse of who they really are. It is really interesting. Anyway, I'll post a couple of things now.

A Letter of Complaint

Good day and peace in Christ!

I just want to report an incident that occurred on November 27, 2006, that I thought was really disturbing and it had really affected me so much that it moved me to write this letter. Some may believe that this is only something really irrelevant and does not need to be pondered upon, but I think that this issue is quite important. This issue shakes my image of a nursing-student who has principles, good conduct, and not to mention the sensitivity to other people’s rights. This incident has tarnished this image that I had planted in my system.

My classmates and I were patiently waiting in a long line to claim our breakage refund. It was very hot and people were being rude and were squeezing in front of the line. My classmates were trying to reprimand these students and told them to get back in line at the back. We were trying to bring order to this chaos when all of the sudden we saw (Hidden for Privacy Reasons) leading their group of friends and casually made their way at the front and asked someone to get their ID’s so that they could have a “reservation” at the front. (Hidden) even went to (Hidden) and told her not to get in line at front because this is unfair to everyone but she replied “Ok lang na uy.” After all the things we said they still went ahead and got in line at front not even having any guilt at all that they were being unfair and not to mention disrespectful of the other people that patiently waited in line. I know that this is not worth mentioning at all but what shocked me the most is that these people are our leaders. We look up to (Hidden), our (Hidden), and (Hidden), the (Hidden), as our role-models. We were really disappointed at knowing that our leaders who supposedly knew what is right from wrong did this, and to think that it was their duties as an Atenean leader to do something about this situation. I even heard from someone that (Hidden) even boasted to someone that she already got her breakage money first than anyone else. We just looked at them from the back of the line hoping that they would feel some remorse but they just smiled at us.

I know that courtesy is one of the important things that the XU College of Nursing is trying to teach us. And XU is trying to form men and women for others but this scenario is quite disturbing and is contradictory. I am quite concerned that if the other (Hidden) students saw this then they would lose their respect for these leaders and maybe even follow in their footsteps. I do not want any conflict ma’am; I just want someone else in authority to make them aware of their actions because they don’t seem to listen to us.

I am really down right now. I really thought that they knew what is right. I promise that I won't vote for them any more and I hope that someone else deserving takes their place so that the rest of the student body gets to have leaders who are good influences on them...

My New Boarding House

I remembered the day when I first went away from the very first boarding house I went home to. And now for the second time, I'm moving once again from my other so-called new home. But I did not move to escape the people I hate, I had to move because I had to be able to concentrate to be able to study. I liked those people but I had to go away so that I can study.

Don't get me wrong, I like my boardmates and landlady but I had to move for the best. Well, at least best for me. It's just too noisy for me to study... But now that I had moved away and have already settled in to my new found second home I suddenly realize that maybe I just blamed the noise for not being able to study. Maybe it's just because of me that I'm not able to study. I'm just too lazy and I don't know why. Now that I have already ran out of reasons and maybe even excuses I am now finally to look at my mistakes for the one hundred millionth time...

Oh well, here comes a new page in my journey called life.

On Relationships

Relationships

I have been looking at my past and remembering my past relationships. If you would watch my life story with me you could really say that my life sure is sure unstable. I had a lot of past relationships if you could call them relationships. If I did have a real relationship, it was only with this one girl who I hold dear to me and respect until now. The rest would be categorized in the unmentionables because I am ashamed to let any one know that I ever had anything to do with them.

I don’t know what I really want. I feel that I have been writing about this frequently. I keep on ranting about being lonely and empty. Maybe I was so desperate to be with someone that I make so stupid mistakes and end up with those pathetic people. Maybe I’m pathetic myself because I fell for them. Yes I did made mistakes but at least I’ve learned from them and I didn’t have to go through five or more relationships to learn my mistakes. I have learned to be happy with my self first to be happy with any one else. The saying “You complete me” is a total crap. Only broken people get together with other broken people and they both end up destroying both their lives. And that is more pathetic don’t you think?

I don’t really understand people and the concept of relationships. Is it pure hormonal instinct that people get together so that they can procreate? Don’t forget the other probable reason: survival. Don’t get me wrong but this is the tendency and even trend that I see. People only get attracted to people who are good looking, rich, famous, or people that would raise their status in society. I don’t really believe that love really exists between these types of people. This “feeling” that these people have is a safety belt that they have because the relationship is either mutually rewarding or beneficial for one.

When I was in high school this parent of someone I know asked me if I already had a girlfriend. I said no. And he was so shocked and even told me that I should really get one. I was so infuriated because what does having a girlfriend have to do anything with being a high school student? I never knew that it was a requirement to have a girlfriend to have good grades and graduate. What is really in relationships? Love? I don’t think so. Let’s face it. Let’s stop believing that love stories that we see in the movies are possible.

The motives for a relationship that I see are the following:

1. Sex

2. Popularity

3. Security

4. Other beneficial factors

But I wish that I could really be proven wrong because I world with this kind of people is a world that I don’t ever want to love in. There is more to relationships than what I said above, if only people would agree with me.

Losing Something

It's very frustrating when you lose something. It's more frustrating when you lose something very important and that you know that someone else was at fault. I hate finding things. It really stresses me out when I am faced with a situation where I don't know anything. Losing something feels like losing a part of you. When I lose something I feel so weak and so afraid.

There are times that I cannot take the pressure anymore that I burst into tears. Some may find this weird or even funny but it's very hard to lose something which you have kept safe until someone so stupid takes it away and misplaces it. I really hate it.