Being Hot-tempered Is So Uncool

Hmm… I wonder why people are so hot tempered these days? Hmm… This has totally been an eye-opener to me. In all the people who easily get mad and then would vent out their frustrations by saying awful things to someone, I see myself. I wonder why I just realized this now? I wonder why I am so thick headed that I would make hasty decisions like never ever speaking to a person that hurt me. Of course, it is an escape mechanism from being hurt but damn, I really should polish my conflict resolution skills.

I have been a very angry person, yes I have to admit this. I am so angry that I only bring pain and hurt into my life… buhuhu… well being angry sometimes is quite good to inform everyone that I am not to be messed with!

But really, being angry is not a good thing. It might lead to cardiovascular diseases and it is a big cause of stress, something that I have too much because of my chosen future career. And being angry clouds your ability to think rationally, plus for the fact that it gets you nowhere but more hurt and bigger conflicts.

So people, why not try to be more happy right? Smile and get a life… er… I mean have a happy life… if you know what I mean. Yes! I choose to be happy. And that means getting rid of stress factors… but doesn’t that mean saying good-bye to certain people? Hmm… Well, avoiding is one way to prevent any more conflicts, although you don’t really solve anything. But I am a happy person and I don’t intend to hold grudges. If people wants to reconcile then the better…

So… from now on… I decide to be happy… no more grudges… no more hating… and no more judging a person.

Hmm… let’s just see where life will lead me now… onwards with my life…

I am happy. I am at peace… and oh yes, I love myself.

Dirty Mind Test

Dirty Mind Test

Take a look at the picture first...
So, what did you see?

Now proceed and read below to find an explanation of what you really saw.

I'm sure you will find this very interesting.

Research has shown that young children cannot identify the intimate couple because they do not have prior memory associated with such scenario. What they will see are the nine dolphins.

Additional note: This is a test to determine if you already have a corrupted mind. If it's hard for you to find the dolphins within 3 seconds, your mind is indeed corrupted.

Over It

Katharine Mcphee - Over It

I'm over your lies
and I'm over your games.
I'm over you asking me
When you know I'm not okay.
You call me and I...
And I pick up the phone.
And though you've been telling me, I know you're not alone.

Oh and that's why

Your eyes... I'm over it.
You're smile... I'm over it.
Realized... I'm over it, I'm over it, I'm over...

Wanting you to be wanting me.
No, that ain't no way to be.
How I feel.
Read my lips.
Because I'm so over...
(I'm sorry)
[ these lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com ]

Moving on
It is my time.
You never were a friend of mine.
Hurt at first a little bit
But now I'm so over
So over it.
I'm so over it...

Wanting you to be wanting me.
No, that ain't no way to be.
How I feel.
Read my lips.
Because I'm so over it.

Moving on
It is my time
You never were a friend of mine
Hurt at first a little bit
Now I'm so over
So over it. 

Scarred for Life

I am horrified by the way people could be so cruel and heartless. I am disturbed by how people can treat other people like shit and don’t feel any remorse about it. I ask you, what kind of person would make someone feel so bad when that person doesn’t even know you or haven’t even done anything to deserve such treatment?

On this night, Thursday of March 29, 2007, I was viciously harassed by a certain someone and I am bewildered because I constantly wonder what motivated such person to spend so much effort and time to put me down. I want to say that I am strong and that I am not affected by such acts but what can I do? I am only a human being who has these emotions and it is because of these emotions that I am able to hurt so much.

I ask why? What have I done to deserve this? What?! I was even so polite to this person and all I received were foul words. I ask myself why? What reason could this person possibly have for wanting to hurt me so badly? Why?

The pain that I feel could never be compensated for anything and that this event has scarred my being. I will forever be reminded of this pain that I feel because I would always be reminded of this night when I was harassed and I couldn’t even find the reasons why.

I feel like being hit by a truck… but maybe even worst for I am able to live on with my life carrying such incident. Why? What did I do to be hurt this way? I didn’t even say anything that could prompt such hatred.

I just wonder how many people like this are out there. I’m scared… how can I be ever be strong enough to face them? Should I be like them who would in turn hurt other people so that I could feel good about myself? But if I did that, what would differentiate me from them right?

I’m really depressed right now… I can’t stop thinking why… why… why…

People please don’t be like this. Be sensitive of other people’s feelings because they do have feelings and it really hurts so much if you say awful words to them. They may act like it doesn’t matter but they really are dying on the inside.

Please no more hating… let’s make the world better than this.

I'm sure that these wounds will heal but... one can never forget such an aweful event.

Also, please be responsible texters. Don't hide behind the secrecy and don't think ever think that it is fun to hurt other people. Please... that is plainly wrong and sick!

Who's Evil Now

Evil is found everywhere in the absence of good... but let me ask you... where is good when all I see is evil?

On Dating

I’m kind of new to this dating thing and here are some things I’ve learned…

1. Never ever believe a single thing that a stranger tells you especially when you just met online or through texting. A person’s sincerity is only verified through actual conversation although this is also not that reliable.
2. If you have a date, NEVER EVER cancel on that day. Cancel days before or even better, a week before the date. It is a BIG TURN OFF if you cancel on the day that you were planning to meet. As much as possible, don’t even cancel! Preparations are usually done before the date and broken expectations are quite unpleasant for the other party.
3. If you did cancel a date and the other party was ok with that never ever cancel the second date! Worst! Never use the same excuse twice (e.g. being sick).
4. Don’t make false promises as this tends to lead to confusions and misunderstandings. Breaking a promise is a big mark of what kind of person you are and your attitude to relationships and agreements.
5. Never lie. Don’t make up stories to impress your date because once your date finds out the truth then this becomes a big turn off as no one ever likes liars.
6. Do place your best foot forward. Your date needs someone that is happy with his/her self and not someone that is in need of spiritual or psychological help.
7. Do be yourself. People usually fall for people who are true to their selves and who are confident. Some may not like who you are but you are sure that you would be happy with the people that accepts you as who you are because you won’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not every time you’re with your date.
8. Split the expenses! Dating costs money, it has traditionally been the man's role to pay, although in recent times the practice of "going Dutch" (splitting the expenses) has emerged. This is especially true for couples who are still dependent on their parents. Take note: the rich actually finds it a turn off if you always are being paid for, it makes them think that you’re only at their side for their freebies. “If you ain't got no money take yo'broke ass home,” Glamorous by Fergie.
9. Do dress properly. Don’t go to a date like you look like you’ve just gotten out of bed. In order for people to know you, they must first be attracted to you. Yes, appearance does count and not just the personality alone.
10. Never expect anything. The date may go along fine and the person might even show signs that he/she likes you but never ever expect that that person really is interested in you that much. Always leave room for rejection, in this way you will have some of your sanity left when things don’t go your way.

Gosh I'm Emo...

What feeling do you represent?

You represent... naivete.So innocent and trusting... you can be very shy at times, but it's only because you're not sure how to act. You give off that "I need to be protected vibe." Remember that not all people are good. Being too trusting will get you easily hurt. Take this quiz! Quizilla | Join | Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Look at this...

Look at this...

1. Copy this whole list into your journal.

2. Bold the things that are true about you.

3. Whatever you don’t bold is false

01. I miss somebody right now

02. I don’t watch much TV these days

03. I love olives

04. I love sleeping even though I barely sleep

05. I own lots of books

06. I wear glasses or contact lenses

07. I love to play video games

08. I’ve tried marijuana

09. I’ve watched porn movies

10. I have been in a threesome

11. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship (Who? Me?!)

12. I believe honesty is usually the best policy

13. I have acne free skin yay

14. I like and respect Al Sharpton

15. I curse frequently (like a sailor)

16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year

17. I have a hobby

18. I’ve been told I: (women) have an applebottom, (men) am packing.

19. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me (Pocket knife count?)

20. I’m really, really smart (hah!)

21. I’ve never broken someone’s bones

22. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal

23. I hate the rain

24. I’m paranoid at times

25. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free

26. I need money right now!

27. I love Sushi

28. I talk really, really fast

29. I have fresh breath in the morning

30. I have semi-long hair

31. I have lost money in Las Vegas

32. I have at least one brother and/or one sister

33. I was born in a country outside of the U.S.

34. I shave my legs (females) or face (males) on a regular basis

35. I have a twin

36. I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past

37. I couldn’t survive without Caller I.D.

38. I like the way that I look sometimes

39. I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months

40. I know how to cornrow

41. I am usually pessimistic

42. I have a lot of mood swings

43. I think prostitution should be legalized

44. I think Britney Spears is hot

45. I have cheated on a significant other in the past

46. I have a hidden talent (i think)

47. I’m always hyper no matter how much sugar I have

48. I think that I’m popular

49. I am currently single ... half half

50. I have kissed someone of the same sex

51. I enjoy talking on the phone

52. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants

53. I love to shop

54. I would rather shop than eat

55. I would classify myself as ghetto

56. I’m bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders

57. I’m obsessed with my web journal

58. I don’t hate anyone. I dislike them.

59. I’m a pretty good dancer

60. I don’t think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington

61. I’m completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother

62. I have a cell phone

63. I believe in God.

64. I watch MTV on a daily basis

65. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months

66. I love drama

67. I have never been in a real relationship before

68. I’ve rejected someone before

69. I currently have a crush on someone.

70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life

71. I want to have children in the future

72. I have changed a diaper before

73. I’ve called the cops on a friend before

74. I bite my nails

75. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club

76. I’m not allergic to anything

77. I have a lot to learn

78. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger

79. I plan on seeing Ice Cube’s newest "Friday" movie

80. I am very shy around the opposite sex sometimes

81. I’m online 24/7, even as an away message – just this summer

82. I have at least 5 away messages saved

83. I have tried alcohol or drugs before

84. I have made a move on a friend’s significant other in the past

85. I own the "South Park" movie

86. I have avoided assignments at work to be on my web journal

87. When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum

88. I enjoy country music

89. I would die for my best friend (i have more than one best friend) – I won’t die for her, I’ll kill for her hehehe

90. I think that Mountain Mikes has the best pizza

91. I watch soap operas whenever I can

92. I’m obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist

93. I have used my sexuality to advance my career

94. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all

95. I know all the words to Slick Rick’s "Children’s Story"

96. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy

97. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it

98. I have dated a close friend’s ex

99. I have cut myself before

Relationships as Said by Oprah

I was really happy that someone actually read my blog! And I simply love it when people comment too! Hehehe... Thank you to Novartis.

Ok, here is my original post if anyone wants to read it go ahead... please do I beg you, joke.

http://vincentb88.multiply.com/journal/item/45

And this is the comment of Novartis which I really liked:

"This is what Oprah said :

You need time to heal between relationships. There is nothing cute about baggage. Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship. You should never look for someone to complete you. A relationship consists of two whole individuals. Look for someone complimentary. Not supplementary. Dating is fun. Even if she doesn't turn out to be Mrs. Right."

Oprah is so smart and I love her hehehe... So never look for anyone to fill up the hollowness that you feel because that isn't going to happen if you don't help yourself first by healing your wounds by yourself. The only person that would be interested in you if you are sad and broken are broken people and both of you will be in a one way road to a failed relationship. Happy people tend to go with other happy people. Learn to love yourself first if you want to be loved. These are only some of the few things that I have learned in relationships... him... I have a lot of things that I want to say too but it's not really related to this topic.

Until next time.

On Goodbyes...

I really didn't expect that it would end

all of the sudden...

I thought we had something going on... I
thought our words were sincere, I
thought you were sincere...

But I can't always blame people for the
way I feel, maybe there was something I
did, or better yet something I said...

All of this is such a cliche... a replay
of the past where someone just went away
without any goodbyes...

Damn... I feel so sad, but the person I
loved was never mine in the first place
so I never lost this person... but
still... it's sad...

But I have to move on and look at the
future...

Prayer to St. Michael

Sancte Michael Archangele,

defende nos in proelio.

contra nequitiam et insidias diaboli esto praesidium.

Imperet illi Deus, supplices deprecamur:

tuque, Princeps militiae coelestis,

Satanam aliosque spiritus malignos,

qui ad perditionem animarum pervagantur in mundo,

divina virtute, in infernum detrude.

Amen.

Saint Michael the Archangel,

defend us in battle.

Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.

May God rebuke him, we humbly pray;

and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host —

by the Divine Power of God —

cast into hell Satan and all the evil spirits

who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls.

Amen.

Lilium

Latin

Os iusti meditabitur sapientiam

Et lingua eius loquetur iudicium (Psalms 36:30)

Beatus vir qui suffert tentationem

Quoniam cum probatus fuerit accipiet coronam vitae (James 1:12)

[Kyrie, fons bonitatis]

Kyrie, Ignis Divine, Eleison

[O quam sancta, quam serena, quam benigna

Quam amoena esse virgo creditur.]

O quam sancta, quam serena, quam benigna

Quam amoena O castitatis lilium

Translation

The mouth of the Just shall meditate wisdom

And his tongue shall speak judgement (Psalms 36:30)

Blessed is the man who endureth temptation

For once he hath been proven, he shall receive the crown of life (James 1:12)

[Lord, fountain of holiness.]

Lord, Fire Divine, have mercy

[O how sacred, how serene, how benevolent

How lovely, is this virgin who believeth!]

O how holy, how serene, how benevolent

How lovely, O lily of purity

Out of School Youth

Out of School Youth

Yup! I’m an official out of school youth… cause I don’t have anymore clases hehehe. I’m going to be bored at home for a while. Thank God that I have summer classes. I’m quite excited to know whether I got good grades, enough to keep my scholarship that is… Hmm… fingers crossed.

What do I do for fun? Nothing much, just surf the net, watch anime, play pc games, in other words… I’m damn bored… not to mention that no one is texting me huhuhu…

On Elfen Lied

Damn Elfen Lied is so cool! I just love the blood and the bodies being sliced to pieces! And the plot is pretty good too! Plus it has nudity people, lol. It’s like a twisted love story… with supernatural powers and stuff… This is another classic example of how man’s heartlessness and abuses especially to the people who are tagged as “different” comes back at them with a full blow. I can’t blame the diclonius for killing without mercy after all the torture and emotional trauma they went through… but to know more about Elfen Lied just read this:

The story begins with a naked young girl named Lucy escaping under odd circumstances from an insular research facility off the coast of Kamakura in the Kanagawa Prefecture of Japan. Lucy manages to nonchalantly dismember and slay a fair number of the staff and guards with a form of seemingly supernatural power and gets outside. A sniper is seen trying to shoot her, only managing to ricochet a bullet off her metal helmet. Lucy then falls off a cliff into the sea, bleeding from her head but ultimately surviving and evading the research staff.

Lucy is not a normal human but rather a diclonius: a mutant variant of humans with two small horns on their heads (hence the name diclonius) that resemble cat ears. The diclonius race possesses telekinetic powers through use of their "vectors", invisible arms that they control with a number and length of reach depending on the diclonius.

The day after Lucy's escape, a boy named Kohta arrives at Kamakura to meet his cousin Yuka. Kohta has come to study at the local university and has been given lodging at an old, family-owned inn, the "Maple (楓, Kaede) Inn", provided he acts as the caretaker. After meeting with Yuka, they go for a visit to the beach and find Lucy washed up on the shore, still naked and bleeding from her head. The head trauma Lucy experienced causes her to develop a split personality. In stark contrast to the cold and sadistic Lucy, this personality is completely docile, harmless and is incapable at first of saying anything other than "Nyū". Not knowing what to do with her, Kohta and Yuka take her back to the inn to look after her and name her "Nyū". Yuka quickly decides that it will be best that she also live at the inn.

Kohta, Nyū, and Yuka begin settling into their life at the inn and Nyū begins to dredge up painful repressed memories from Kohta's past. Meanwhile, the researchers from the laboratory where Lucy was held begin searching for her, dispatching both human and diclonius agents to hunt her down.

On Love

I have heard of this very interesting myth by Plato and I believe that we should spend some time to think about this… According to Plato man was once complete. Man was originally an hermaphrodite, a being composed of one body both of man and woman. The original man had 4 legs, 4 arms, an oblong body, and of course two heads.

It is said that man was so unruly and threatened the gods that Zeus punished man by splitting man into two, man and woman thus bringing us to our present state, wounded and incomplete… This is why we are constantly in pain and desire to find our other half, the person that would complete us. Love is said to be a god that encompasses both the world of man and the world of gods, it is this love that heals our wounds and bring us together with the one we love, our soulmate.

It is said that to be able to be called completely human, we must find our other halves to be complete.

But I say that this is stupid. Ok, fine I do feel lonely at times and yes I want to be loved and want someone to love but for me, we already are complete. I do not want to base my happiness on anyone else because it is because of me and my own doing that I am able to do great things and I don’t need anyone else to live and survive (except my parents though, hehehe).

But love is such a troublesome topic…. let me end it here…

Paralyzed

I woke up today thinking that this was a good day to die. I'm in so much pain right now, and I'm not just talking about emotional pain but physical pain too. Damn, my shoulders are killing me (really it is).

I'm tired of living, I feel that I have already lived my life to the fullest and there is nothing else that excites me....

I don't want to move on... I'm paralyzed, I feel that I have nowhere else to go but here and now... I have no future...

What is to look forward in the future anyway? I have so much love to give but no one loves me back...

Oh no, I'm in my depressed mode again... but I'll be out of this sooner or later...

Anyway, I was really shocked last Wednesday because I was Spiritually empty and I really searched for God. Hmm... It only proves that we do indeed need to have faith so that we would be in a state of being ultimately concerned and all our other concerns would just follow... Hmm... I'm quoting the Philosophy of Paul Tillich where faith provides us a center so that we would be integrated or in other words so that we don't fall apart...


I'm really bored...

Carmen Electra

What poise! Even when she fell down her confidence completely overshadowed her fall.

Tired

Damn... as expected the finals is very bloody... project here, famoly care plan there, movie shoot here, everywhere I look I still have unfinished business.

Actually I just feel tired but my friends are commenting that I'm not my self, I'm easily irritated, or in short bunt-out... I don't know why I'm like this...

I just hope that my body and mind doesn't fail me. I hope that I can get through finals with ease... hopefully... I'm just tired... who am I kidding... I'm in a deep state of depression and I want to give up.

It's a good thing that I have this special someone who makes me want to go on. Love can really rejuvinate you hehehe...

Friendship

BE WITH ME

KEY TO MY HEART

Key To My Heart

I had closed the door upon my heart
And wouldn't let anyone in
I had trusted and loved only to be hurt
But, that would never happen again.

I had locked the door and tossed the key
As hard, and as far as I could.
Love would never enter there again,
My heart was closed for good.

Then you came into my life
And made me change my mind.
Just when I thought that tiny key
was impossible to find.

That's when you held your hand
And proved to me that I was wrong.
Insode your palm was the key to my heart...
You had it all along.

Just Do It

This week has been very tiring! But at least I was able to get it with my sanity intact and hopefully, with passing grades too.

I just realized that I only get to fall asleep every night or fail to accomplish anything earlier because I always have the "Mamaya-na-Attitude" or the "I'll-do-this-Later" attitude. It was quite fun to learn this valuable lesson when I had to finish my Family Care Plan. I was really concentrated and motivated to finish the said work that I was able to finish it with out even getting tired or sleepy. I wasn't able to get any sleep but the feeling that I accomplished something out of my hard work was better than caffeine and adrenaline.

I'm hopeful that I can still keep this learning in mind for years to come.

But now, I'm feeling the effect of getting no sleep. It's still 8:30 pm but I'm really so drowsy... tsk tsk... time to sleep!